(The Onion = Satire)

Here are the people that truly made the 2008 Beijing Olympics an event to remember and appreciate.

The threat of nuclear war hangs over the region with no end in sight, just as it has for the past three decades. (The Onion = Satire)

Here are some pointers on how to celebrate USA Day like a real American man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM6zpobO_GU

White guy tries to learn the Soulja Boy Dance

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=20696045

Dave Chappelle Stand Up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7F50Cd8LME

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbRsz_LaLLk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPRscxQZs8E

Feeling soft? Let world welterweight champion Floyd “Pretty Boy” Mayweather Jr. teach you how to deliver a knockout blow.

1. Get ready
Be sure to get your hands up well before you’re ready to swing. This way if your opponent makes a move or rushes in for the sucker punch, you’ll at least be in a position [...]

An old Irishman walks into a bar, hauls his bad leg over the stool, and asks for a whiskey. “Hey,” he says, looking down the bar, “is that Jesus down there?” The bartender nods, so the Irishman orders Jesus one too.
An ailing Italian with a humpback walks in, shuffles up to the bar, and asks [...]

A heavyset guy sees an ad that reads “Lose weight. Only $10 a pound. Call (202) 555-0238″ and decides to make the call. The operator asks, “How much weight do you want to lose?”
“Ten pounds,” he replies.
“We’ll have a representative over in the morning,” says the operator.
About 9 a.m., there’s a knock on the door. [...]